Everytime i wash my protein shake bottle, i can't help but wonder what kind of mutated freak could climb out of my sink...

  ¶

23:54 |

 

Know enough

There are still times – sitting before my now private table rushing a report, sitting before the same table having nothing to do, strumming through a familiar tune, reading over a hilarious text, lying on the bed waiting for sleep to set in – that i still thought: OH HOW I LOVED HER. But when i thought of how we parted, i realized that it was a different person i was in love with. And with that realization come the revelation that now, finally, everything is in past tense.

And now more people read this blog, and friends came up to me and told me this or that post was "so sad", "what happened?" i looked at them and i saw different sides of my life. And i smiled and shrugged. She is no longer all i have, and i'm slowly learning to "know enough".

  ¶

23:27 |

 

Dusk has fallen. Another night is here. August is not bad but not as great as promised. What should i do oh what should i do? i'm not the old me anymore, but it's so hard growing into a new one. But at least Steph Song is on this month's FHM cover. Sigh, i'm not making sense, again.  ¶

21:21 |

 

Great night out at Chinablack. Left the self-imposed drink ban at home and let loose a little. Trying to be happy or truly happy – the margin is at times rather blur. But what's the matter? Anyway like Kat so shameless claimed, i would miss her when she's gone, if only for one more person to laugh at besides Yong Chuen.



Back to what's been weighing on my mind (i know this post is rather illogical, but it's 4:22 in the morning under the effect of alcohol), i know you might think this is what you had gone through, or what i had made you go through. You thought you knew. You thought you understood. You thought this. You thought that. You thought wrong.

Had a nice dinner with Jane last night at Chijmes. Had to go to Paya Lebar to be picked up because she couldn't find her way to Aljunied. And gosh that was the most expensive taxi i've ever taken, albeit the most comfortable one, too. Revisited some stuffs, and talked about something new. But well Jane, i can't really be like you, surrounding myself with a group of close friends. i might be expecting too much out of her, but she's all that i have, at least for now.

No, posting here doesn't mean i want you to see this, though you inevitably would. It doesn't mean i want to tell you all these. Like you said, this is just FYI, if you even care. Anyway despite all your claims and assurances, no you are not here anymore. You are gone as gone can be. i can't even begin to try, to figure out what is wrong. Because i know nothing is wrong. Everything went on course. But i still tried, in every way i know how, to at least smooth out the course. Nothing works now. i've given up. So it's bye bye baby baby bye bye.  ¶

04:14 |

 

Vacasufferation

Ultimate boring trip to Phuket with the old blocks. But with just one picture to bring home that made the trip worthy. Sometimes life's surprises come in the most unexpected way. i didn't realize the potential of this picture, taken almost randomly on the last day on the van speeding down to the airport, till i reviewed the pictures on the plane. i absolutely love it.

  ¶

22:13 |

 

That was a most hilarious night out at Zouk, with all the people you won't normally expect to find there, together, plus all of Yong Chuen's antics. All of us were doubling over on the dance floor looking at his goofy moves. Kat got as far as second in the pageant contest, but lost out in the wine-peddling round because she doesn't have rich friends. Oh my i'm really at a loss of what to say. The night was funny beyond words.  ¶

18:05 |

 

Headed out of freezing OSC and into the scorching weather. Four hours of sleep with a headache – perhaps i could appreciate long haul and jet lag better now. Hopped onto a taxi, with the cabbie complaining about answering to a caller who ultimately took another cab. From one airport to another. i stuffed him a ten and asked him to keep the change. Both of us had a rough day.

Sitting there with crossed legs, watching faces pass by. i didn't feel like moving, so i stayed. The sky darkened in appreciation – the first rain in days.

Ada apa dengan cinta? What's the matter with love? Or maybe i'm being melodramatic myself. But my legs were numb and belly empty. So i left, in exactly the same way i thought i would.  ¶

14:04 |

 

(The) eve

Finally coming to the eve. It's not like there's anything i want the bloody rest of the world to know but no, Wenjie, i don't want to meet you for dinner tomorrow. i reckon i won't be in the mood. And if even this person happens to be someone i don't want to see, all others please keep a good distance away. If i snap at anyone within the next 24 hours, you can settle the account with me afterwards.  ¶

23:13 |

 

August

Finally coming to. And this is the dear guy our 8th month of the Gregorian Calendar was named after. And to revisit numerology:

     The number 8 is the number of karmic influences where we are
     called upon to pay debts incurred in this and previous lives. It
     represents hard work and lessons learned through experience.
     More than any other number, 8 seeks money and material
     success. However, the hardships 8 faces in pursuit of its rewards
     are extreme.

Hmm... doesn't sound very nice, does it? But despite the qi yue ge tai with its aweful din that is also to come, i'm determined beyond doubt this will be the best month this year yet.  ¶

01:29 |